Yeah, I was as flabbergasted as you are.

76-year-old Dorothy Richardson of Euclid, Ohio took a shovel to a 25-pound baby deer that she saw in her garden, saying that the fawn’s eyes met hers and she was scared it was going to jump and bite her head off. Yeah. She was afraid that a 25-pound fawn was going to bite her head off. I know some people get kind of crazy toward the ends of their lives, but seriously?

Apparently she told a city councilman about the incident, and he painted a more gruesome picture. According to his account of what she said, this woman hit the fawn once with a shovel, causing it to scream. Can you picture this? A little baby deer screaming in pain? Any normal human being would be horrified at this. But no, this nutjob wasn’t sympathetic. She proceeded to hit it twice more, and said she wanted to put it at the end of the yard ’so the other deer know not to mess with her.’ Instead, she put it in a box and put it out on trash day.

Seriously? What the hell is wrong with this woman? Here’s an activity: Picture Bambi. Now picture an old woman beating Bambi to death with a shovel. Personally, I’d be inclined to smack her with the shovel. Maybe you guys wouldn’t react so violently (more power to you), but still, I’m pretty sure no one’s screwed up enough to be cheering her on.

In other news of crazy people from Ohio, Columbus firefighter David P. Santuomo will have to serve 90 days in jail for hanging his two dogs from a pipe in his basement and shooting them. Why? Because he thought it would be easier to do than pay for them to be boarded while he went on a cruise. True, Santuomo has a history of financial issues, having had his home foreclosed six years ago and having filed for bankruptcy twice, and boarding is expensive. But apparently he can afford a cruise.

Hope he can also afford the $4500 in restitution and the potential loss of his job.