So I was just on Facebook – of course not doing the reading assigned for my government class (it’s not due till Wednesday anyway). Anyway, I came across a posted link to this: a story about some obviously disturbed woman who got her friend to shoot her six-week-old puppy so she could make a belt.

Seriously? SERIOUSLY?

First: The dog wasn’t some mutt that you can pick up for free. It was a Jack Russell terrier. While that’s not necessarily the most rare or expensive breed you can find, a quick Google search reveals that, on average, a Jack Russell puppy costs around $350, not including vet visits and food and whatever other extra costs a dog might bring. So, really, lady? I know DIY is all the rage, but Gucci, Prada, YSL, Ferragamo, de la Renta, and Valentino all offer some wonderful products for a comparable price. Plus, purchasing a belt from Neiman Marcus isn’t going to get you charged with a felony, whereas shooting and skinning a puppy definitely does.

Second: IT’S A FREAKING PUPPY! Who does that? Oh, I can tell you: SON OF SAM. Yeah. David Berkowitz, better known as the notorious serial killer Son of Sam, had a history of killing and mutilating dogs. Personally, I’d think being associated with serial killer-like behaviors is quite undesirable. Maybe this chick thinks that her case is different, that her dog died a noble death since it was dying to help her have a super-cool new belt, but I think any sane person would probably beg to differ.

So really, this wasn’t a good choice on any front. She basically put a hit out on her defenseless six-week-old puppy, which makes her kind of crazy. She didn’t even save any money off of a department-store belt. She got herself charged with a felony. And for god’s sake, she didn’t even get her belt in the end!

But it’s not only the crazy girl I have a problem with. For all the insanity of the stunt she pulled, she’s only facing up to five years in jail and a $500 fine. LAME. Sorry, that’s not okay. Let’s borrow an idea from some Native American tribes and scalp the bitch. But if that sounds too radical, let’s at least bump up the jail time she’s eligible for. I mean, really. Someone who’s so obviously out of whack with society’s expectations for adequate treatment of everyone who cohabits this world probably isn’t the kind of person I want roaming free. I mean, I think my dog’s relatively attractive. What if she pops out from behind a tree and shoots my dog while we’re out for a walk so she can have a new jacket or something? (Not that that would happen, I’m just saying.) The point is, the government apparently doesn’t see that these people are kind of a danger to society.

Also, hey, PETA? Where are you in this whole thing? You flipped out when President Obama squashes a fly, but I haven’t heard too much about your reaction to this. Is it not high-profile enough for you? No celebrities to dump paint on, so you don’t get involved? Seriously, maybe people wouldn’t think of you as being such an asinine, crazy organization if you actually addressed something legit like this instead of focusing on a fly that would’ve dropped dead in about fifteen seconds anyway.

Oh, my roommate drowned a spider in our toilet today. It was living under the seat, and we’re both terrified of spiders. Does that make us sadistic? A spider is a more complex organism than a fly, right? Damn. Dear PETA, please forgive me for being terrified of things with too many legs. :( I’m a vegetarian if that counts for anything.

Oh hey, back to the original subject: I just learned that the lady wanted the dog dead because it was a gift from an ex who she didn’t get along with. Uhhhhh, really? Does that mean it’s fine and dandy for divorced parents to shoot their kids in the face a few times? Didn’t think so. Also, if she’s so concerned with the link to her past relationship, what was the point of making a belt out of the puppy skin? Wouldn’t that have just been another link to that relationship? Plus, how much of a belt can you even make when you empty a round into the puppy? I feel like you wouldn’t have much material to work with. (Rant over, because I feel like if I write much more the ratio of profanity to substantial text will get really, really unbalanced.)

So by the way, I’m at Hahvad now in case anyone’s wondering. So please excuse any typos in this post, because the keyboard on this MacBook that I have to use is really weird. Also, if you’re in the Cambridge/Boston area, go to L.A. Burdick and order a hot chocolate. It tastes like you are drinking a chocolate bar. It’s officially replaced Starbucks Salted Caramel Signature Hot Chocolate as my number one favorite cocoa ever. And according to their Facebook page, they’re opening a location in New York City soon! So check it out.